I see the view again, the one that scares everyone I know, everyone I have ever tried to show. The view of the this place in the world I hold as a place of forever being alone looking from here. It makes me realize the ultimate action, which creates the end of any further potential action, stops time. I do not want to kill myself with a knife or a gun, whether I would cancel my living state with primitive or romantic means is unimportant. I just want to wake up, without any ability if language, sensing or speaking, in a foreign land as child with endless sadness for undirected wonderment . I will never bother to care of where I will be buried, all names I am given shall be given back to the land.